For love

YOU are the prize that he should pursue. If that's the case, then a shift needs to happen. You can no longer be chasing after him...with your mind, your heart and your body...trying to "get him" to want something more special with you.

To get extra help with this, to really be able to see that YOU are the PRIZE - YOU are worth being chased and pursued - you must try my most powerful Tool: Circular Dating.

please don't hang out with this man, Gloria. Please just cut him off. No contact, no emails. If you see him around town, be warm, as you'd be to anyone, but stay away. He means you NO GOOD, and I care about you - so please, take better care of yourself.

What makes a man "fall in love" is a combination of two things: Thrills and Safety. Those two things seem like complete opposites, but they're not.

The Thrills come from the unknown, mysterious, unpredictable, completely-out-of-his element, keeping him constantly off-balance qualities you ALREADY possess as a woman. The Thrills come from his being in the presence of your POWER, your Boundaries, your ability to say NO to what you don't want, and your love for YOURSELF.

The Safety comes from your ability to FEEL. A man feels icky inside a lot of the time because he not only doesn't feel okay expressing his feelings - most of the time he can't even TOUCH his own feelings.

A man walks around LONELY - feeling that no woman will ever "get" him - and that if she "gets" him, she won't like what she sees. He feels that no fantastic woman, the woman who gives him thrills, will ACCEPT him. And we women have been taught to go about trying to create these two things in the completely wrong way.

We try to provide Thrills through sex, and we try to provide Safety by nurturing him and TELLING him how much we like him, and giving to him. And all that does is dampen the Thrill factor for him. Providing anything for a man completely feels like "friendship" to him.

How To Truly Captivate Him

We inspire the Thrills by just being ourselves - full out - in all parts of our lives.

And we inspire Safety by being in touch with our OWN emotions, and letting him see - by expressing our feelings in words he can HEAR - that we LOVE our feelings, ACCEPT our feelings, and so, therefore, we can handle and accept HIS feelings!

* I read essay of Rori Raye, and summerized it. Picture is my artwork, watercolor.

Suhyun Kim